Do you ever have what seems like a really great idea? You get excited about it, you plan for it and you even make two or three false starts because you're so eager you get started before the moment is right. Then, when the right moment comes...nothing happens. There is something standing between you and your great idea.
I had this happen recently and it totally sucks. Three years ago, when Nathan and I decided we were going to pursue adoption, I went to my little bookcase where I keep my notebooks and pulled out a yellow one. It has a padded cover with a really bright design of flowers and butterflies and is really pretty. "I know what I'll do," I thought. "I'll keep a log of everything we do as we begin the process of adoption. Then when the baby is a little older, I'll give it to them. It'll be a sort of, this is how much Mommy and Daddy love and planned for you." I even wrote the two names we had picked out for the baby on the inside cover...and then crossed them out and wrote new names...Nathan and I go through names like paper towels.
Starting the process took longer than either one of us anticipated. We checked out a couple of agencies we thought would work and they didn't and then we both lost our jobs so the moment was far from right to start planning a family. When we signed the papers with Angel Adoption I came home and started digging around in my nightstand, where I thought I had left the notebook last. It wasn't there. So, I went through the little notebook bookcase. It wasn't there either. I have no idea where it is now and we've started the home study, so it seems like much too late to keep a notebook chronicle of everything we've done. I hate it when stuff like that happens.