Somehow, in my heart of hearts, I always knew my first child would be a boy. I don't know how I knew, but I think there were signs. After we started the adoption process and I looked at my yarn stash to start making hats and booties, I noticed everything I had was either blue, green, or brown. It was much much easier for us to come up with boy names than girl names. And when I found out Birthmother was carrying a boy, I was elated, but unsurprised.
All that being said, I don't think I was completely prepared for raising a boy. I rejoiced that I wouldn't have to run the Disney Princess gamut every time I tried to find a toy. I got excited about trucks, tractors, and superheroes. I loved picking out clothes with dinosaurs on them.
But I think there are somethings that would be easier with a girl. How does a mother teach her son what real feminine beauty and grace is? Does the son even care? I hope Elijah will want to grow up wanting to marry a good and virtuous woman. The kind of woman I try to be. I pray she is less sharp (not intellectually), less malicious and more pious than I.
How do I show him this kind of woman in daily life? I suppose I start by curbing my tongue more often (never easy for me.) I continue by praying for blessings on those who hurt me more and thinking about ways to hurt them less. I pray more: with him, for him, over him. I hope he learns what real women look like and I hope he appreciates it. I pray the woman he marries is modest and intelligent. I pray she is able to see the flaw in modern perceptions of beauty and promiscuity.
I pray that Nathan and I are able to teach Elijah to love his eventual wife with kindness and gentleness. I hope he learns from his father what a real man is, what a good father is. I hope he loves his wife the way Nathan loves me. I hope he enjoys his family the way Nathan seems to.
All these things I pray to our Lord Jesus for my dear son, Elijah.