Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Raising a boy

Somehow, in my heart of hearts, I always knew my first child would be a boy.  I don't know how I knew, but I think there were signs.  After we started the adoption process and I looked at my yarn stash to start making hats and booties, I noticed everything I had was either blue, green, or brown.  It was much much easier for us to come up with boy names than girl names.  And when I found out Birthmother was carrying a boy, I was elated, but unsurprised.

All that being said, I don't think I was completely prepared for raising a boy.  I rejoiced that I wouldn't have to run the Disney Princess gamut every time I tried to find a toy.  I got excited about trucks, tractors, and superheroes.  I loved picking out clothes with dinosaurs on them.

But I think there are somethings that would be easier with a girl.  How does a mother teach her son what real feminine beauty and grace is?  Does the son even care?  I hope Elijah will want to grow up wanting to marry a good and virtuous woman.  The kind of woman I try to be.  I pray she is less sharp (not intellectually), less malicious and more pious than I.

How do I show him this kind of woman in daily life?  I suppose I start by curbing my tongue more often (never easy for me.)  I continue by praying for blessings on those who hurt me more and thinking about ways to hurt them less.  I pray more: with him, for him, over him.  I hope he learns what real women look like and I hope he appreciates it.  I pray the woman he marries is modest and intelligent.  I pray she is able to see the flaw in modern perceptions of beauty and promiscuity. 

I pray that Nathan and I are able to teach Elijah to love his eventual wife with kindness and gentleness.  I hope he learns from his father what a real man is, what a good father is.  I hope he loves his wife the way Nathan loves me.  I hope he enjoys his family the way Nathan seems to. 

All these things I pray to our Lord Jesus for my dear son, Elijah.

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