The Mama

First of all....

Seriously, how cute is he?

We've been home for just over a week now and Elijah is just over two weeks old.  This world of motherhood is an interesting place.  It's a strange feeling to be making all the decisions for another person.  I remember even as we were driving to Birthmother's home state, I was thinking about his name and said to Nathan, "How does one person go about creating an identity for another person?"  What if he hates his name?  What if he would rather be called "Eli?"  I hate nicknames so I've refused to use it.  Nathan said something to the effect of, "Because you have to."

I realize that Elijah's identity is already inside his little person, but it will be up to us to help shape and make him into an individual.  There are all kinds of questions floating around in my head now.  What if we don't hold him enough?  What if he is allergic to cats?  Do we feed him too much?  What if we are playing the wrong kind of music?

Nathan is all about music, so I added a "Disney" channel to my Pandora stations.  But I don't know if Disney is "right" at this age.  So I added a "lullaby" station.

Even though it was one of the most inconvenient things I've ever had to do, I kind of miss living in that hotel in Birthmother's home state.  Life was a lot simpler there.  All we had to do was hold and play with Elijah and make sure all our paperwork was moving from place to place.  Here, we have to do things like dishes, laundry and bills.  I have to cook meals and clean up around the house.  I have a certain longing for the days of sitting around staring at the baby.  But I still do that quite a bit!

But things around here have settled into what almost might be called a routine.  Nathan took over middle-of-the-night baby duty for the weekend, so I got to sleep.  If there is a perk to formula feeding, that's it.  We have been enjoying receiving all kinds of family and friends who want to meet Elijah and ask us how we are doing.   

Being the Mama is definitely more than I expected it would ever be.

Elijah Nathan

I was asleep, to begin with.  It was mid-afternoon on Wednesday, January 18 and I still had about an hour to sleep.  But, the phone rang.  In my sleepy haze, I answered the phone and heard Nathan talking about our adoption agency calling him.  They said a birthmother in a neighboring state really liked our profile and wanted to talk to us.  He kept saying I needed to call the agency because she wanted to talk to us that night.  Finally, my mind started working and all I could say was, "Nathan, did she pick us?"  He responded with "Yeah, that's why they want you to call them."  I hung up right away and called our adoption agency.  Our adoption coordinator answered the phone and said "talk about things happening for a reason."  Then, she told me about a birthmother who had one or two conditions we initially hadn't said we would accept.

"I didn't mean to send her your profile," the coordinator said.  "But I must have accidentally put it in the pile of profiles I sent because she picked you guys and wants to talk to you tonight."  She went on to tell me a few things about the birthmother, and that she was having a boy in one week. Then the coordinator gave me Birthmother's name and phone number.  I was in shock.  We hadn't even heard of this situation before hand.  She just liked our profile enough to think we would be good parents to her little boy.  Suddenly those few conditions didn't seem so daunting and we were so excited.

Nathan came home that night and we called her.  We were all very nervous, but it was a wonderful conversation which lasted about an hour.  She told us she wanted us to be in the delivery room when the baby was born.  She explained why she picked us and we told her about our lives at home and how we plan to handle day care after I go back to work.  She said she expected to need to be induced.

The minute we hung up the phone, I pulled out our big black duffel bag and started packing it.  I made sure the diaper bag was still packed from the last time we got called.  We told our parents and siblings.  We told our bosses.  Things went on pretty much as they had before.  I spoke with the birthmother one other time as we waited.  But, really, things were different.  I bought a car seat.

I put together the swing we bought and the bouncy seat we received as a present from my brother and sister-in-law.

We had to get all our paperwork updated and retained lawyers in both our state and Birthmother's state.  Birthmother was due on Friday, January 27 and we were ready to head to her state when she was induced. 

Nathan responded to all this stress by not sleeping.  He wasn't going to bed until 3 am most nights.  Finally on Wednesday the 25th, his body said "no more" and he was in bed at 7 pm.  That was my Sunday, so I stayed up, sitting at my computer reading articles about newborn care and playing an on-line game with a friend from work.  (We all keep strange hours.)  At 4 am Thursday, January 26, Nathan's alarm went off.  He didn't move and I shut if off.

Fifteen minutes later the phone rang, it was Birthmother.  "Margaret, I'm in labor," she said.  "Okay, we'll be there as fast as we can," was all I could say.  I shook Nathan's shoulder and woke him.  "Birthmother is in labor, we have to leave now."  "What?" he responded.  I finished packing our big duffel bag, I double checked both of the baby's bags.  An hour later, after Nathan had checked the car over carefully and we installed the car seat for the first time, we left.  We drove for seven hours, had one near miss with a semi and arrived safely at the hospital.

We made it, Birthmother was still in labor.  Her parents were both in the room and a friend of hers arrived.   Everyone was wonderful and even the hospital staff referred to us as "the parents."  She started pushing about 2 hours after we got there.  I stood on her left side and helped brace her while she pushed.  Nathan sat in the corner.

Baby boy arrived at 4:46 pm Thursday, January 26, 2012.  He was 8.09 lbs and 20 1/2 in.  We named him Elijah Nathan.  He was perfect and pink and healthy.

When the doctor pulled him out and placed him on Birthmother's chest, she reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling it up to the baby's stomach.  I could feel tears running down my cheeks.  I glanced over and Nathan was standing up, smiling with a look of complete awe and happiness.  Then they took Elijah off and cleaned him up, wrapped him and handed him to me.  I couldn't help it, I started singing to him.  The first song that came to my mind, which, I think is called "The Spinning Wheel."  After that, I handed him to Nathan.

The hospital gave us an empty room to stay in so that Elijah could be with us and we could feed and change him.  We were there for two days before moving to a hotel.  The next day we traveled to a bigger city where the lawyer's office is and stayed in a hotel there.  It was another five days before we finally received clearance from our state and Birthmother's state and were told we could leave. 

It has been so nice to be home.  Elijah is such a good baby, he sleeps well and eats well.  He doesn't fuss unless he is wet or hungry or wants his pacifier.

We thank God for Birthmother and for everyone who has supported us and cheered for us all along the way.

Pater noster qui es in caelis:
Sanctificetur Nomen Tuum;
Adveniat Regnum Tuum;
Fiat voluntas Tua,
Sicut in caelo, et in terra
Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie;
Et dimitte nobis debita nostra,
Sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris;
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem;
sed libera nos a Malo.

Amen.

More Neil

Can't help it...I've been addicted lately, and this is one of my favorites.

Snow

The older I get, the more convinced snow that makes life hard in general.  It's not just that I hate driving in it (but I do) or that it makes work busier (but it does).  Everything seems to be harder to accomplish when it snows.  I opened the front door today and looked out at the mailbox, about 10 feet away, and then looked at our sidewalk to the mailbox which is covered in about ankle-deep snow and decided it wasn't worth it, I'd just wait for Nathan to shovel.

You have to put on extra clothes to go outside now.  You have to make sure to pull the car in if you don't want to spend 10 minutes scraping and brushing.  I've don't even think snow is pretty anymore, just a nuisance.

I really miss our 50 degree January days!

My favorite things

There have been a lot of new experiences and ideas going on lately and I thought I might share some of my favorites.

I've never liked pie much.  However, last shift rotation, one of my coworkers brought in a cherry pie and I had a slice.  I loved it! Since then I've made two myself.  I just buy premade pie crusts and cans of filling and make it that way.  Maybe I'll have to try making my own crust one day.

Nathan asked for clothes for Christmas and I was happy to buy them for him.  I realized, though, that I haven't gone out and bought clothes for myself probably since college.  Back then, my style was what I call, "15 year old skater boy."  I wore a lot of T-shirts and jeans.  Well, this year I worked some overtime Christmas eve, and there was also some holiday pay on the last check, so I decided to take the extra money and spend it on adult clothes.  Mom and I went to Old Navy, where the extra money went much farther than what I spent on Nathan at Christmas.  By far my favorite things I bought are my new jeans. When we walked in, I went straight to the 4-short size, because that is what I've always been.  Not so this time.  I bought two pairs of...wait for it...size 2-short!  I have never been a size-two before.  I haven't done anything to earn it and they probably just made their sizes bigger, but the tag says "2" and that's all that matters.  Not only that, but the legs are just exactly as long as I need them to be.  I'm not trying to brag, but it does make me feel good.


One of my Christmas presents was a gift card to Barnes and Noble.  Nathan and I talked about going up to the store in DeKalb one day before I hopped on their website.  I love the Barnes and Noble website.  I picked out three books The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, The Agony and the Ecstasy and Chesapeake.  I chose to order them used, which means I could afford all three and only go $.88 over my gift card total.

Several years ago, I read Wicked by Gregory Maguire.  I was entranced.  Then, Son of a Witch came out and after that A Lion Among Men appeared.  In the mean time I read his other books for adults and loved them all too.  About a month before Christmas I was reading a People magazine and saw Out of Oz listed in the book section as the last book in the Wicked series.  I put it on my Christmas list for my mother-in-law and received it.  The two middle books are good, but not as good as the first.  But this one, this is every bit the book Wicked is.  I love it.

If you've never seen my engagement ring, I'll tell you what it looks like...it's an oval cut sapphire with three diamonds on each side of it along the band.  I love it.  Diamonds have never been my thing and blue is my favorite color, so the sapphire is perfect.  Nathan told me for our anniversary this year he wanted to get me sapphire and diamond earrings to match it, but I don't wear earrings and I'm not about to start. (even though it was an incredibly sweet thought).  Instead, for Christmas, he got me a sapphire and diamond pendant necklace.  It's beautiful.  It is an oval cut sapphire surrounded by diamonds.  One of my coworkers mentioned that it looked like the Duchess of Cambridge's engagement ring.  And it does a little.

At first I didn't even know what it was, and then I resisted it as long as I could because, to be honest, it is a strange concept.  But one day I couldn't hold back any more, there were just too many cute, intriguing and interesting ideas out there.  I asked for an invite to Pinterest.  I have been hooked ever since.  It is a weird idea, just to post images out there and move them around.  But I think it's cool that there is a whole community of people willing to just share and inspire others.  I have more boards than I thought I would and I think I pin a little too much, but I can't help it.

2012

Thank God for a new year.  Life has been standing itself back up again for a while now and I feel more normal than I have lately.

We have had shift change at work, but fortunately nothing happened to me: still enjoying my third shift with Tuesday/Wednesday weekends.  Nathan just started back to work last week after his Christmas break.  The students are still a week away from returning.  So for him work is busy enough but not quite crazy.

We had a great Christmas and gave and received many lovely presents.  We hope you did as well. 

I've never been big on New Year's resolutions.  It makes more sense to me to wait for Lent to make an effort to better myself.  And I am looking forward to Lent this year, more than I ever have before.  I guess I feel like there's a lot to work on.

But my big goal for the year temporally speaking, is to finish my book and have it ready for publication.  It's something I've been working on for many years and I think it's time to finally be done with it and move on to a new project.  Also I hope to keep up better with this blog.

This is probably my favorite picture from Christmas this year.  That's me in the hat helping Sophie open one of her presents at my in-laws.